Archives for the month of: October, 2013

As a mom, I feel a lot of guilt throughout the day. Guilt that I am working and not home with the kids, guilt that I have to tell Buster to wait while I do something for Little Miss, guilt that I don’t spend enough time with my husband, guilt that I don’t spend enough time in the Word, guilt that I need to do homework when we should be outside enjoying the sun, guilt that my house hasn’t been cleaned in a while, guilt that I am not home to put the kids to bed because I am at the gym, guilt that I am not at the gym more, guilt that I don’t get to spend more time with my friends, guilt that sometimes, I am just too tired to do anything and go to bed at 9:00. There are way to many things to be guilty for.

Then I look at that list and ask myself, is it worth it? I think the issue that is causing me the most frustration is school. Right now, I am looking at what class I am going to take next semester and I will not be able to take an online class so that means there will be 2 nights a week that I will not be home and if I try to go to the gym after work a couple nights that will mean an 4 nights away. I am struggling with trying to fit everything in. I know that every mom/woman wishes for just a couple of extra hours in the day to finish the to do list but because there isn’t I have to learn how to prioritize and manage my time better. I still strongly feel that continuing on with my degree is what God wants for me, but I just don’t know how to fit it in. The past week I have been questioning if I really should be going back to school and then I remember why I want to go into nursing and remember that one day, I will have my degree and these sacrifices will be worth it.

Now I have to ask myself, what can I really sacrifice, it’s not like I go out and party it up on the town all the time! As easy as it would be to drop going to the gym, it is that much more important that I continue to go. I need that time for me to rejuvenate and help me get to a place where I can outrun Buster on the soccer field and keep up with Little Miss crawling everywhere.

So, yes, right now, the sacrifices are worth it because I know that in the end, they will pay off. Please, if I start to get frustrated or talk like I am going to give up being healthy or finishing school, give me a swift kick in the pants.

In other news, I have my doctors appointment on Wednesday, so we will be see if I reached my first goal! Image(there were a few different cameras so we were all looking a different ones.)

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I have to admit, it has been a tough couple of weeks, as evident in my lack of posts. It is funny how life gets in the way of life. One week, Hubs was out of town on business, which left it hard to get to the gym between work, school, soccer and homework. The next week, I was out of town, in a town that knows how to prepare some amazing food, New Orleans. While I did have a chance to get to the gym in the hotel, I don’t feel as though I was able to make the right food choices, or go to the gym as often as I could have.

It is so easy to make excuses as to why I can’t lose weight or go exercise, or a myriad of other things. These excuses are not getting me closer to my goal. It would be easy to list the excuse and hold a “woe is me” party, but that won’t get me anywhere. So, I am going to celebrate the small things: I actually got up and went to the gym yesterday before work, today, I walked 3.13 miles in 42 minutes at lunch today, and I am only 2 pounds away from my first weight goal of 300 lbs. by Oct. 16. Also, we got our flight and hotel booked for NYC.

On another note, I keep looking at all the cute clothes in my closet from pre-pregnancy and they keep calling to me. I determined to fit into them, if not this winter, then for sure by next winter.

So, I know this post is all over the place, but it is time to get back into the swing of things and stop making excuses.